No day, but Today

it's late and i can't sleep, but i should really try

update to be coming soon...tomorrow hopefully

until then good night :) hope everyone has sweet dreams

I really feel like I need to apologize to everyone.  I know that lately, in general, I haven't totally been myself.  This past week especially I know I've been more emotional than usual.  There's just been a lot going on with school- classes, finances, changing my major, not being able to register, etc, and some other personal issues that have really been weighing heavily on me.  I really appreicate the time that some of you have taken to listen to me and I'm sorry that I just haven't been the best person to be around.  I had my eyes opened to a lot of things this weekend and although I'm still struggling quite a bit I'm not going to take advantage of my friendship with any of you. I feel really bad for not being the friend that I should be lately because I've been so wrapped up in my personal crap.  I hope no one is too angry or upset with me.  Thank you all again for putting up with me.

I'm gonna need to get out and get my mind off stuff, so this week and this weekend (before my life is consumed by A Chorus Line starting the 30), can we go do something or even just hang out and have some fun?

For real I don't know how much worse things could get... every time it seems like it's gonna get a little bit better life takes a huge shit on me... I don't know what to look forward to right now

So there was this one time Sarah and I went  to see Wayne Brady perform at Millikin and then snuck around back where his limo was, waited for him, and asked for his picture...AND WE GOT ONE!!!!

Me and Wayne Brady!


Sarah and Wayne Brady!

There were like maybe 10 to 15 other people standing back there too and we were the only ones he would allow a picture with!! AHHH

:(  too many disappointments

I was looking forward to it, but now not so much

I just wish i were half as important to everyone else as they are to me

She's in love with the boy...what's meant to be will always find a way

The heart doesn't lie... as much as I've tried to to fool my heart and say that I can get over him and move on, I just can't do it.  A lot of things have been thrown into the equation as of late, mistakes that I've made, mistakes that he's made, things that we've each shared, things that we've each held back... 

I know a lot of you can't understand this but I can't help the way I feel.  I love the way I feel when he holds me, I still get this overwhleming feelings whenever he kisses me, I still get butterflies whenever I think of him or even just at the mention of his name.  I love his laugh and being able to laugh with him.  I love that I can open up to him and tell him anything.  I love that he opens up to me when i know that he's not that kind of person.  I love that he calls me because he can't sleep and just wants to listen to the sound of my voice.  I love that we keep no secrets.  I love when he tickles me, even though I tell him I hate it.  I love that when no one's looking, he's the most affectionate person I've ever been with.  I love that he knows me better than I know myself...  

When you're with the right person, you just know.  I'm not saying that this is going to last forever, but I hope it does.  He says now that he wants to be with me in the future... but I'm still scared... 
What does the future mean to him?
Do I hold enough significance in his life? 
Am I enough for him?
Do I deserve him?
What do I have to do to prove that I want to be with him?
What do I have to do to prove that I can be enough?
Whatever it takes, I'll do it.  I will do anything to be with him and will support him and care for him with everything I have.... 
Is that what he wants?  I know what I want and I know I can't have what I want right now, but I'm willing to wait as long as it takes... i just hope he is too and he means what he says.

How can he not with all that we've been through? Two people who have had as many complications and conflicts and obstacles as we have and knowing full well that there are more to come, willing to face them together... we have to stand a chance, right?

I know that he doesn't always treat me right, but when I finally am able to be with him, even if its just for a few minutes, everything suddenly makes sense.

For now my heart is still in my hands... but I'm ready to give it when I know that it'll finally be protected and taken care of

But I do love you
You keep me believin' that you love me too
And I know it's true
This love drives us crazy but nobody's walkin' away
So, I guess we'll to do it the hard way

..speaking of Valentines, my last entry was for people to send me valentines and someone did and it was supposed to be revealed but I can't see it....soooo who sent it? I really really REALLY wanna know, so for real if you sent it don't be shy and tell me!

http://wishroll.com/valentinr/dramagirl

this one time i didn't update livejournal for like a year...

Pretty sure life is kinda crazy.

Christmas was ok. My Grandma bowled on the new Wii system and I'm not gonna lie it was really cute! 

Pretty sure life is kinda confusing sometimes too

I'm also pretty sure if I didn't have my friends I don't know what I'd do. Without you guys, i think i would die! True Story

Leave me love!

Dear Life,

I realize you and I haven't been getting along to well lately.  You've made me kind of sad and kind of crazy. I, in turn told people that you suck and that I hate you sometimes.  I'd really like it if we could get along.  We're kind of stuck with each other. If you stop making me crazy and stressed I'll stop saying you suck, deal? 

Love, 
Amy

"Don't buy me anything for Christmas. The only thing I want this year is you." 
Christmas really brings out the best in people....










I love him

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were."

Thanksgiving break was pretty good. Of course there were ups and downs, but mostly ups definitely! This weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in a long time for so many reasons.  There was alot of work done on the house this week and it looks so amazing!  It makes me excited to come next weekend to judge a speech tourney and see someone special :)  However, I am currently feeling real icky right now and I'm not totally sure what's wrong... hopefully it'll go away soon
Hope everyone else's break went well and that everyone had an awesome thanksgiving!

How could I have let you go?
What was I thinking when I wanted to say good bye
You were and always will be the best thing that ever happened to me
Will you take me back?
Will we be happy ever after again?
Because I know in my heart that we are truely meant to be...

Amy is in an amazing mood right now!

Definitely floating on cloud nine and not coming down anytime soon :)

Amy is in desperate need of ice cream.... but Dan ate it all


Who wants to get ice cream this week? I will go more than once :)

Amy needs plans!!! Call me or leave one here and call me anyway cuz I'll forget!

+Kiss on the stomach = Im ready

+Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever"

+Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything

+Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"

+Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"

+Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"

+Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"

+Kiss on the Lips = I like you"


What the gesture means...

+Holding Hands = "we definitely like each other"

+Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"

+Holding on tight = "i don't want to let go"

+Looking into each other's Eyes = "i just plain like you"

+Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"

+Arms around the Waist = "I like you too much to let go"

+Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"



--Advice--

+ Dont ask for a kiss, take one.

+If you were thinking about someone while reading this,

you're definitely in Love.



--Requirements--

+Post this again after reading!!

Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.





If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now

and can't get them out of your head

then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are

missing will surprise you.

Repost this as "what a kiss means"

Yay! I'm coming home tomorrow! I can't wait to see my bestest Hilary and get Chipotle with my Melanie! I need to come home and think some things over.... I'm considering changing my major. I'm not totally sure yet, but I dunno what to do anymore. The point of this weekend is for me to come home, celebrate the fact that I am done with practicum (YAYAYAY!), have some much needed girltalk, figure out stupid girl stuff, and figure out my life...kind of.

Can't wait to be home!